200,000 page views y’all! Okay, let’s see, as of this very moment…..199,557 page views, but who’s counting?
I am! And I’m thoroughly blown away. I started this silly venture on November 17th, with my first, nervous, tentative, horribly edited post. November 17th. That’s four and a half months. That’s incredible.
Unless it isn’t. I mean, for all I know 200,000 views in 4.5 months could be a shameful, pathetic showing. Furthermore, I’m not 100% certain exactly what a page view is. Is it when someone clicks onto my blog itself, regardless of how many posts they read? Or is it each individual click on a post?
Regardless, it sounds like a lot and I’m super excited because I can finally unveil my *Incredibly Evil Plot To Take Over The World When I Reach 200,000 Page Views*! And you’ve all danced right into my nefarious plans. Muwahahahahahaha……MUuuuuWAhahahahahahaha!!!
I kid. I kid. Really, I’m going to use this post to explain a few things, clear up a few things, reveal a few things and just generally pat myself extremely hard on the back. Until it hurts.
First things first….
I’m a Good Mother, You’re a Good Mother
Wow. The juggarnaut.
Of that 200,000, I think approximately 150,000 was all IGMYGM. What a crazy, viral bolt of lightening that was!
And this is what I’ve been dying to tell you all about it…..
It was my fourth post, and I was convinced that I would never see more readership than I had received in the previous week’s PPD post. Who knew? I didn’t write for a big audience, and I certainly never anticipated how many mothers would come to read it- I wrote it for my group of friends in regards to a judgy mother situation that had recently erupted in my little FB world.
And so, to those readers, all over everywhere, who felt the thrust of that post was to discourage the sharing of opinions or articles about mothering with other mothers, OR to discourage even the reading or researching of such information, I say, No. No. Nooooo!
Please, please know that I did not intend for that to be the message. I was writing about one particular type of Juther( and one Juther in particular), and we all know the type, and I believe that if you want to share information, or opinions with others in the spirit of support and acceptance, than by all means please do! It really killed me to read those comments from all over the web, from mothers who thought I was advocating a ban on information sharing. Nope. No way.
Shout Out To My International Peeps
IGMYGM brought me loads of new readers, and most surprisingly and awesomely, readers from all over the damn world! So, here’s a shout-out to New Zealand, Australia, England, Japan(!!), Russia, I think Germany, and of course, coast to coast Canada!!!
Just A LIttle Admission
I don’t really drink wine.
I know, I know, but I don’t! I sort of explained the title in my first post- I liked the sound of it more than anything else, but I really don’t drink much more than water, some coffee and……alright, a fairly good deal of Champagne( my poor husband) at restaurants, which is technically wine……but anyway, needed to get that off my chest.
Oh, and Martinis.
And Cap’t and Coke.
And Raspberry Gimlets! Have you tried those? Deeeeelicious.
But not wine. At home. At 6:30. Sorry.
Is that a monster of a name or what? Oh my god, it’s a nightmare. I can feel it. That’s how terrible it is. I can physically feel it. It sucks.
But here’s the thing, what mostly sucks about it is how freaked out everyone gets when they see it, or hear it, or try to say it, or spell it. It’s getting very annoying.
Its just not that hard, America. You can do it, I promise you can. Even if my own damn family still can’t, you can. Here’s how:
I’ll break it down. Repeat after me:
Bogo( like logo or pogo stick)-
Now, this is the tricky part- you have to blend these next two sounds and say them like they are one sound:
L’Yoo or Lyoo-
Bova( like nova or, er….crova?)
Put it all together-
That’s right. Now try it with the emphasis on L’Yoo
You did it! See how easy it is?
Yeah, I know, it’s impossible, never mind…..
Boy, do people love to hate on a blogger. Those of you who don’t live in my area and therefore don’t see the comments on the BDN ( the paper I write my blog for) FB page, are just missing out on so much great entertainment! I wish I could share the thoughtful, articulate responses regularly found there with the world. Everyone needs a good laugh.
How I would love to spew obscenities. How I’d love to choke a few lovely folks. Instead I’ll just say this:
- Just because I didn’t insist that my husband attend the birth of our son, due to his, in our western opinion, outdated beliefs, does not mean that he beats me with a broom, keeps me locked inside the house and forces me to have babies alone in a corner, while making his dinner. That is so laughably far from the truth of our relationship, and it illuminates the incredible close-mindedness of some supposed “progressive” women, and yes, I addressed this in my post “Drinking the Kool-Aid”, but as you can see, it really pissed me off so I wanted to blast them again.
- Okay, okay, I relent, organic is great, organic is good, I will only buy organic food. Sheesh! It really irritated the hell out of some folks when I admitted that I didn’t ” give a hoot about organic”. I do buy some organic, I just don’t insist on buying ALL organic and I just don’t know if I believe that it matters, from a health perspective. But, I do use only fresh ingredients, my freezer is a cold, empty place- I love a Farmers Market. Hope that makes you feel a little better.
- To the women who accused me of, among other gems, not being fit to breed, because I didn’t breastfeed? I’ve made up a mash of all the best curses, from all the languages of the world, and combined them into one enormous, terrifying, splendiforous word and I’m shouting it at you in my head right now.
I’ve been wanting to tell you guys this, but it makes me nervous….
I have a nanny.
There I said it.
I’m a SAHM and I have a nanny.
But That is a blog for next week…….
So, my little mommy blog has been a pretty good success, and it’s been a real joy for me, and at the risk of sounding terribly cliche, it’s all thanks to you guys. It really is.
I am sincerely thankful for you all. For reading my nonsense week in and week out, for commenting and conversing with me. For sharing your own stories and your nonsense. You are hilarious. You’re smart. You are great mothers. You routinely make me laugh, and you’ve even made me cry. I read every single comment and I appreciate them all so much. To my peeps on my FB blog page, it’s a blast polling you, thinking out loud with you, and complaining to you. I LOVE that you always pipe up and keep the conversation alive.
I don’t know how much longer I’m going to keep on keeping on. I can’t help but wonder if I’ve said everything that I want to say about mommying. More to the point, I don’t know how much longer you all will care to hear what I have to say- but please know, that even if each and every one of you stops reading me tomorrow, even if I don’t get a single new page view, this experience will always be one of the most exciting, rewarding, fun and heartwrenching( in the good way) that I will ever have, and it really is all because of you.