My son is an addict.

And I am his dealer.  His supplier, his pusher, his enabler.

What’s the monkey on his back?  Munchkins.

We call them by their street name, ” Treats” or “Treeee!”

What kind of mother am I?  It was me who hooked him on the cakey balls of yumness. It’s me that continues to feed his obsession.  We’re up to two Munchkin runs a week now.  At least.

Where will it all end?

It started innocently enough.  We’d set off for an hour long ride one afternoon and Luka hadn’t eaten much of his lunch.  This was a little while back when meals were served on more of a schedule and having a hungry baby in the backseat was the ticket to a car ride straight into the bowels of hell.   Pulling into the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru, I nervously pondered what I could order him to fill his little belly, that he could easily feed himself as I drove.  The answer was clear.  Munchkins.  And not just because I wanted some myself.  I ordered him a plain one.  I call it plain, DD calls it the Glazed Cake Munchkin or something, but whatever… ‘plain’ sounds healthier.  The effect was instant- euphoria!

” Mah, mah (more, more)”  he called.  One tiny, sugary hand floated above the rim of the carseat, waiting for another.  He could barely wrap his little fingers around it, and it was so damn cute.  It had begun.

It’s impossible to deny him.  When he gets a Munchkin, he rocks back and forth with excitement, he sings, he points at it.   He calls out ” Treeeee!” as we pass every DD sign. I’d hidden a few leftovers in the diaper bag recently, and hung it on the basement door. Washing a dish, I heard a breathless, ” Ooooooooooooooh,” behind me, and turned around to find him standing over the diaper bag, holding one Chocolate Glazed Munchkin in the air, triumphant.

Here’s where I try to make you feel sorry for me:

You don’t understand, my son isn’t even ON the weight chart!  Still!  At nearly two years old.   My husband and I are desperate to fill him with calories- any way we can.  I’m not unaware that Munchkins have the nutritional value of a handful of erasers, but Luka has methodically routed out every vegetable from his diet, one by one.  Just refuses.  I hid a bit of broccoli behind a bite of chicken on a fork the other day?  He dug the broccoli out of his mouth with his finger.  Sometimes, he’ll eat cheese.  Other days, he won’t go near it.  He’ll eat banana every day for breakfast for a week, and then eschew it for the next two.  I just want my baby to grow.  Is that so wrong?

(  how am I doing? feel bad for me?)

Fact is, I’m a Munchkin-aholic just as much as he is.  The problem isn’t going to go away, so we all need to come to terms with it.

He’s up to three and sometimes four Munchkins at a time now.  Pray for my boy.


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Heather Bogolyubova

About Heather Bogolyubova

Heather Bogolyubova has an un-pronouncable last name. A Maine native, she's returned to the Pine Tree state after several years in New York. Now, she's a newlywed, has a new baby, a new job, and lots of fancy shoes she can never wear in the snow. The job: Stay-at- home mother and wife. Its hard. She's going to tell you all.