What’s in a name?

Quite a bit of angst, actually, when you and your opponent, uh, husband are the ones who have to do the naming.

The Hubs and I are in a dead, implacable, somewhat contentious stalemate regarding the name of baby #2.

This is new territory for us considering how easily we named Luka. Before we even knew we were cooking a little boy we had it all decided. I was a big fan of Russian boys names and gave Alex a choice of three that I would be happy with, the rest was up to him. Luka was in the group of contenders and as it turns out, as a young boy, he had wished that his name was Luka and that was that. Luka it was. I loved it, Alex loved it, and from the moment we knew he was a boy, he became Luka rather than, “the baby”, which made me feel like I knew him already, in a somewhat more intimate way than I could know “the baby”.

Here we are though, at 22 weeks, another boy on the way and this little guy is “the baby”. There is little sign of hope for a name at this point. It’s looking like he’ll be “the baby” until he’s about a year and half, then we’ll switch to “boy” until he’s around ten, at which point he’ll become ” kid “. When he’s eighteen, we’ll meet him at City Hall to witness him choose and register his own name, then take him out for a celebratory burger.

See, we’re not talking about being indecisive. Nope. We don’t have a list of possibilities that we can’t whittle down, or a short list that we can’t pull the trigger on. Believe me when I say that thus far there is not one name, not one, in two separate languages, that we both like. Not ONE!

Here’s where it stands..

I like Leo or Theo. These are my top choices. Total rejection from Alex, and for no good reason, I might add.

Alex likes pretty much anything Russian. Sasha, Misha, Nikita, Yuri, Vladimir etc.. I don’t hate some of them, but just don’t want two little American born brothers with Russian names. I’m being a bit disagreeable here, I know, but I think it’s only fair if we have one Russian name, one English name. I mean, what am I? Chopped liver? What about my heritage?

On that point, Alex claims to be magnanimous, but his suggestions are from the pool of overused* boys names, of which I’ve already known 37 of each. Michael, Andrew, Timothy, Matthew, Joseph..

No, nope and no way. However, offer him William, Jack, James, or Henry and forget it. His sticking point is that an American/English name must have a Russian equivalent. Argh. Leo? Hello, Leo Tolstoy? Perhaps the greatest novelist of all time was a russian dude named Leonid, but nooooooo. Theodore? Russian equivalent is Fyodor, but apparently there was a character in a movie that no one else on earth saw mind you, who was a loser, so no to sweet little Theo.

We have covered every name by now, I kid you not, even reading straight down the list from baby name books. There is really no name we both like. Mix that up with a good dose of antagonism on both sides, and we have a good old fashioned stand-off.

It’s not all disagreement. We both equally eschew the whole Brayden, Cayden, Jayden, Aiden* craze, or anything that a Kardashian sister has named her child. So all is not lost. Somehow we have to leap from our shared desire to avoid trends and find a middle ground. In the meantime, Luka is climbing the popularity charts- my nightmare. Eeek!

We’ve mostly stopped even discussing the name at this point. Think it’s best to cool off for a month or two and regroup. I have to make a decision, do I hold out for my choice and pull the whole, I just labored for X amount of hours to bear you this child, etc… or do I compromise? In the meantime, looks like my little guy will be “the baby” for awhile longer.

* Try not to send me hate mail if I listed your son’s name in my list of names I don’t like. If you like it, then I think it must be the perfect name for your kid.

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Heather Bogolyubova

About Heather Bogolyubova

Heather Bogolyubova has an un-pronouncable last name. A Maine native, she's returned to the Pine Tree state after several years in New York. Now, she's a newlywed, has a new baby, a new job, and lots of fancy shoes she can never wear in the snow. The job: Stay-at- home mother and wife. Its hard. She's going to tell you all.